Cycles

I deserved a little more

More than rage and slamming doors

Could sit by the bright orange sun, watch it disappear

You'd rant and rave to shake me, but was you that had the fear

You threw things in spite when I didn't agree

Deep down you knew the strength in me

Your chopping me down never got you far

As I began to leave, you tried attacking my car

How many cycles did we keep breaking up?

How many cycles did we keep breaking down?

It led to disaster of me and you...

It's been a long time that we've been thru...

Never would I go back to you...

You could use puppets to tell me your lies

But that's the fake life I see in your eyes

I'm never ever gonna think twice bout' you

Living dreams out with my family is what I'll do

Your mind never could focus straight

Why would I stay with one full of hate?

So much hate in your deep soul

That made me pay such a toll

How many cycles did we keep breaking up?

How many cycles did we keep breaking down?

It led to disaster of me and you...

It's been a long time that we've been thru...

Never would I go back to you..

Or let you touch me again, be close to me

If only your devilish eyes could see

Those days we had are more than thru

With careless choices you continued to do

A courteous reminder with your consciousness in tact

Fear truth would leek out to your ex daughter ...is a fact

Actions just don't flee, you can't hide them from a soul

Your bleak love in your life chose to let her go

She slipped into this world from a soul of hatred and abuse

But the beauty my daughter carries on did not come from you

Cry each day of remorse on the choices of your coarse

But never again come looking for us, not a thing you can force.

I had to write a poem like I was living in yesterday. Oddly enough, we got thru it, and forgave after 4 yrs... But sadly after he remarried a young girl of jealousy, she was pregnant and demanded they part. Was sad...but a Jesus calling for Tory's heart and her amazing dad, my husband today...she's had since 1 1/2... He works wonders....

Blessings all....

By Hetty Siebens © 2012

Savin' Me

Savin' Me

His Savin' me wasn't just luck

Wasn't His choice thru the muck

His plans were brilliant, blazing on fire

On fire for Him thru disastrous mire

He was always there the days I didn't believe

Believe of a heaven or Him took long to achieve

I denied Him for selfish reasons, that all pertained to me

His heaven I'd mock was not like mine that I'd rather see

My heaven then, so determined I'd say

Consisted of packed freeways, backed up all day

My "place" had beaches, radio and smog

Not then did I see The Truth, living in my own fog

Many tragedies shook me hard and emotionally deep

But I didn't know my God would chose me one to keep

I rolled my tiny car three times back in 99'

Doing all the wrong but I stepped out just fine

Thanked "whoever" was out there for my catastrophe

I gathered my love for California, drove to the blue sea

Still in my heart was selfishness, against to better things

Against the good, for the odds, the odds lovers would bring

But thru the years that followed

I was hit hard and just wallowed

In self pity and remorse

My ex held me down in force

He just shook and quivered

Knowing the pain to be delivered

His heart turned colder; shutting our kids feelings out

Then one fist to another, he beat me til' I'd shout

That day began the change of me

Confused, overdosing, I bent on my knees

Pleading to who I heard about a long time ago

To love and accept my failures so that I could show

Show how amazing life can be

Living thru tough times able to see

The amazing work He has done all my blessed life

Guiding me not to pop more pills, or ever use a knife

Showed me which road was the only and the best

If troubled times came, turn to Him for some rest

He would take my tragic times that were deep in my soul

He'd take it on with trust and love, with True Heaven my true goal

He changed my life completely, answered so many deep prayers

My Lord is with me always full of love, fighting Satan with all dares

My child praised Him very young, while I was still seeking His love

He placed my angel in my life for love and to seek Him up Above

My light is flaming Lord,

Flaming just for You

My life is flaming dear Jesus

Not one could take me from You

Praise you today!

Praise you tomorrow!

Praise you still thru any sorrow!

You're full of faithfulness, love and peace

Again I will repeat...

You're full of faithfulness, love and amazing peace

A love so alive and patient, a love that will not cease

So I close with You to say

You never leave me astray

Hard times aren't in Your plans

Your filled with Your Will; not with mans

Thank You for fighting for me too

As many in this life often won't do

Holding me close, hugging me tight

You never let me out of Your sight

Thank you Jesus....

Hetty Siebens, 2012